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Reading Review

Been Around Town

May 6th, 2011
by Mason.
3 comments

Just got back from Quimby’s, the best darn book store around, where I attended the Cinco De Awesome event with readings by J. Bradley, Ben Tanzer, James Tadd Adcox, and Brandon Will. Everyone was top notch in their own manner: Ben Tanzer told the audience why he hates them, in a loving manner; Brandon Will illuminated time travel, along with the importance of pop culture; James Tadd BADCOX (as I call him) read short stories from his upcoming encyclopedia-like book, which were brief in a way that made the prose almost expand, their quality was not lacking despite their small size; and J. Bradley was both weird and entertaining, he has quite the knack for naming books, you might want to check out The Serial Rapist Sitting Behind You is a Robot.

J. Bradley also read at Encyclopedia Show last night, which I also attended because I’m a social butterfly, dammit. He was good in that too, reading about the Skeksis from Dark Crystal. Not being the biggest Dark Crystal fan, I can easily say his story about marriage, love, and weird skeleton birds was better than the movie. I do dig Labyrinth though. Everyone in Encyclopedia Show was great last night. I particularly liked Annie Kincade’s piece on the kakapo, she pulled off a real official voice, as if she were qualified to speak in some sort of professional manner on birds and history and un-important junk like that, while being very inaccurate, which is how you do it when you go on the ES. Oh yeah, and she was funny. Shanny Jean was also darling as she read about mass turkey death, and the absolutely… polarizing… Jilted Emily Rose said cock more times than anyone else I can think of… that day.

Possibly, maybe, kind of what J. Bradley might look like:

P. Fanatics: Sup, Bro? Recap

Mar 22nd, 2011
by Mason.
No comments yet

Saturday we had the first ever Piss Fanatics reading, and it went superb. It’d be a bit uncouth to do a review of my own reading series, so I’ll just do a quick recap in show of appreciation of all the talent that was nice enough to come out and read.

Dan Shapiro, my partner in crime, actually read twice, killing both times. I had him open up the reading, no introductions or explanations, just Dan reading one of the funniest stories I’ve ever heard about a man and a monkey. Don’t think for a moment that this is some sort of Any Which Way But Loose, Dan ain’t no Clint Eastwood, and Eastwood ain’t no Shapiro. Still, monkeys are cool.

Dave Snyder took the stage and did the theme proud as he read poems he composed with his bros, like William Blake for example, who, along with Dave, coined some of my favorite bro-terms of the night: Brobocop, Broseidon. Many thanks go out to Dave, Dave’s beard, Wordsworth, Blake, and Keates for pioneering Broetry.

I forgot that you’re supposed to take pictures at events for most of the night, but here’s one of the crowd, just a little too chill for their own good:

Kevin Kern took the stage after Dave and apparently impressed everyone. I was so nervous at this point I found myself downing beer as fast as possible, and missed at least half of his poem. It’s just Kevin, I thought, I can miss this. He definitely insulted me in it though, which was nice of him. I felt guilty for missing bits afterward as people came up to me and said, “What was that guy’s name again? That was good.”

I’m just kdding, I totally heard all of Kevin’s piece, and it was definitely great. People were really coming up to me afterward and complimenting me though. Why not him, I wonder? Maybe it’s the New Jersey accent.

(Mason & Kevin, besties.)

After a short break Jacob Knabb was nice enough to introduce Dan Shapiro, singing a little ditty to get Dan in the mood to read for a second time. Jacob sings a lot. Everyone seems to hate it at least a little. I’m not going to weigh in on the matter in general, suffice to say, it seemed to have a thorough effect on Dan, who didn’t move for the entire ordeal, not even when Jacob coyly slid his finger down Dan’s back.

Dan’s second piece was funny. As funny as his first piece? Probably not, it’s hard to top such perfection, but this one, a piece about God and the Devil meeting in a bathroom in limbo, is definitely a precious piece of comedy that just about anyone would laugh at.

Chris Bower read next and was another guy where people would come up to me afterward to tell me how great he was, as if they couldn’t walk up to him and do so themselves. He was typically only a few feet away from me as they did so. Now, I didn’t pass these messages on to him. Never in a million years would I pass praise on to him. I definitely do not want it to go to the guys head. Thankfully, I can compliment him here, since I know for a fact he doesn’t read this website. I don’t think he knows how to work the “damn fangled internets.”

With that said, Chris’ piece, almost every piece by Chris I’ve heard, gives you chills. These chills are accompanied by laughing, but the chills are still there. I don’t really know how to describe the bastard, he’s some sort of genius, infusing his prose with everything awkward going on in your mind. He has his way with your suspension of disbelief, he accosts it, he kidnaps it, he gets it laid, he gets it crabs, then chlamydia, he gets it to mouth off to its mother…

… I donno. He’s just great, okay? I’ve never been disappointed in anything done by the man.

Next time you see Chris, ask him what Brokakke is.

Jill finished off the show in what was easily the most well put together story of the night. A lot of readers at readings will typically create a series of jokes, or a feeble frame of a story to deliver a couple jokes with, ensuring that the comedy will come before things like pacing and movement, character development and story, things that make a story great, but don’t always communicate well when read aloud. Jill did not settle for just making jokes. She created a full piece of work, including all the elements of a great short story, while also making you laugh. She’s like, a real writer or something. Intimidating, right?

All in all, it was a great night! Thanks go out one more time to Dan Shapiro, Dave Snyder, Kevin Kern, Chris Bower, and Jill Summers!

Ray’s Tap Anti-Sex Reading Review by Ian Dick Jones

Mar 9th, 2011
by Mason.
1 comment

Ray’s Anti-Sex show was probably the best Ray’s show that there ever was and since nobody in the human race can outdo themselves I’m pretty sure that, because of the topic at hand, this will go down in history as the “Ray’s reading you should have been to.” A Woodstock of its own.

Chris Bower’s opening speech about how his twin brother raped him in the womb, then molecularly combined himself (the twin) with himself (Chris), brought Chris (the host) into this world as 1) already a victim of sexual violence and 2) with nobody but himself to blame was probably not only 1) the funniest and most honest thing Chris will ever say, but 2) the truth about humanity and the disgusting things we do to each other. He then said since it was the Anti-Erotica reading, that we’d get shot if he saw a boner, or smelled a wet vagina. Good job opening up, Chris.

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So Mason Johnson Thought He Had Nerves of Steel…

Mar 3rd, 2011
by Mason.
No comments yet

Matt Rowan, who I can totally beat up, just sayin’, wrote a review of Tuesday’s SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE NERVES OF STEEL?

Is it truthful? Accurate? Does he depict me losing miserably at arm wrestling? The answers to these questions and more RIGHT HERE.

Dan Shapiro reffing a match between Jacob Knabb and myself. Photo taken by Matt.

Dil Pickle Club Has Soul by Daniel Shapiro

Feb 21st, 2011
by Mason.
No comments yet

I was visiting my parents a few weeks ago. My Dad was looking for his favorite movie, “Gaily, Gaily”, on the new Netflix streaming service. Unfortunately, they had it. He was trying to convince me to watch it. “Your grandparents used to hang out with the writers of the movie at the Dil Pickle Club.” I remembered the facebook invitation that I had recently received.

“I was invited to the Dil Pickle Club!”

The Dil Pickle Club was a bar located in an alley during the early part of the twentieth century. This new Dil Pickle Club I was invited to is a reading series and more that honors the original’s legacy by keeping things laid back and intelligent.

I was definitely going. Not just to have a good time, but to somehow honor the legacy of my grandparents who I have never met. They’re still alive. They just want nothing to do with me. Joke. They died before I was born. I know them from stories, writings, and photographs. My grandmother was really hot.  No joke.

So we showed up to the Hideout, which is a groovy bar with an awesome, little stage area. The sign told us to go around back. There we  were met by a guy dressed as a 20’s gangster and holding a prop tommy gun. He checked our IDs. When he checked my youthful looking friends ID, he said, “The picture looks just like you.” I thought that was funny. So we entered through the alley like the original Dil Pickle Club. Nice touch.

Before the show an infomercial played on the screen onstage. It was for swords. It consisted of a portly man with a mustache chopping random objects (pigs, garbage cans full of water) with various swords. It was one of the coolest things I had ever seen. (Ed. Note, he speaks of Cold Steel.)

A slam poet named George Decelles started the show. Her poem was well written and emotional. Pop culture writer Jenny Benevento was the next presenter. She gave a slide show presentation on Precious Moments figurines and their inventor. What started out as a snarky and funny piece about a ranch and church in Missouri dedicated to the cute, big-eyed, angelic, child-like figurines became a solemn piece on how people find love and deal with death. As the band that played between acts (Honey and the Buffalo) stated, it was a tough act to follow.

Next up was poet and painter Ned Broderick. His painting were hung around the room. His artwork blew away the audience. His poems were so moving that no one clapped after the first one. The words were raw and powerful like the paintings.

Before intermission the stunning mathematician Emily Reihl explained an algorithm she invented to pair up couples. I’m no good at math, and I was a little drunk, so it made little sense, but I liked it.

Sayward Schoonmaker did a piece on how she likes things that swoon and swell. In it she quoted a Frank Zappa song, so she’s awesome in my book. The last act was Richard Lindberg.  He’s a local historian. He kept us all entertained with his tales of Mid-Western serial killers, and his thick, Chicago accent.

After the show there was great soul music spun by the Windy City Soul Club. They mostly spun tracks I’d never heard before plus “Soul Finger” which I can’t hear enough.

It was one of the best readings I’d ever been to. I couldn’t think of a better way to spend a sub zero Thursday night.

Notes from Mason:

Dan failed to mention how much he danced, which was a lot. That guy got his groove on in a way that made grown women sigh and grown men curse his name. Here’s a picture, albeit blurry, of happy Dan wearing a hat he stole from a police officer while riding the high that is soul music.
And here’s a pic of me, Dan and some young lady we found in the alleyway out back.
(photo by Jacob Knabb)
Needless to say, we had fun. Thanks for writing this up, Dan!

The Encyclopedia Show: Punctuation Review

Feb 15th, 2011
by Mason.
2 comments

I’d like to say that I learned an immense amount about Punctuation at the most recent iteration of the Encyclopedia Show, but this is not the case. The show was great, I’m just not the best of learners. As a game to shame me, the person who finds the most punctuation mistakes in this posts wins something awesome. Like a shark. Or, I donno, whatever happens to be around at any given moment.

For those of you who don’t know, the Encyclopedia Show is a force of nature held at the Vittum Theatre in Logan Square West Town (though I usually say Wicker Park, I guess I’m always wrong). Hosted by Robbie Q. Telfer and Shanny Jean Maney-Magnuson (who’s really hoggin’ all the good names), it’s a live variety show; much more than your usual reading. The idea is that they (supposedly) open up an encyclopedia each month, picking a topic for the show at random. They then find a dozen or so performers, mostly writers and poets, but occasionally musicians (they even have puppet shows on occasion), and assign them sub topics to create a piece on. So if the topic is bears, for example, they might choose the Chicago Bears as a sub topic, or Grizzly Man, or anything remotely related to the bears.

Wednesday’s show on Punctuation was, well, surprisingly funny. I honestly wasn’t so sure about this theme, but everyone pulled it together. How the show is able to  make subjects like Punctuation and the recent topic of the Village of Schaumburg remotely entertaining, I don’t entirely know, but I’m impressed. A great deal of credit is due, I’m sure, to hosts Robbie and Shanny. They do a good job of seeming like they know what they’re doing, as if they might even rehearse a little, while also seeming like they made those last three quips up off the top of their heads. It’s a nice balance. Even when Robbie’s jokes fall flat they’re usually still funny; the man fails in an entertaining fashion. Shanny, similarly, stays funny by rolling with the punches. Some of the best jokes improvised when a mic breaks, or she stumbles on a word or line, correcting herself in hilarious fashion.

A conversation I had with my mother, who attended their show on Brains:

“The co-host girl is so cute.”

I told my mom she’s married.

“Well, so am I!”

Guess these sacred vows mean little to her. Anyways…

Robby and Shanny’s intern Patrick also helps the show move. Well, actually, most of the time he seems to be getting in the way, but it’s funny, so that’s okay. Robbie and Shanny treat him like he’s some sort of old, dying, hairless, diseased mutt who needs to be put down, to comedic ends. The crowd occasionally tries to feel bad for this underdog, but let me tell you, he deserves none of your pity, and all of your venom. One person who does deserve your pity is fact checker Ian. He may lack a personality, but he’s the only thing between the Encyclopedia show and untruth. The last bastion and hope of all that is right. Someone needs to keep these people on their toes. The antithesis of Mr. Fact Checker is Tim Stafford, who always plays in the most absurd roles in the show. This time he asked to be called Dame Truss, pretended to be the British author of Eats, Shoots & Leaves, and made just the right amount of abortion jokes.

Sorry, Lynne Truss… Next time Tim impersonates you I’ll try to get less turned on.

Even better than those chumps were the readers. There wasn’t a dud in the bunch. Kevin Coval’s performance on bullet points was funny and well done, especially considering that Robbie thought it was a theme fitting of gangsta rap. Jus Love’s song about the interrobang rang true for the entirety of the crowd, and Halle Butler’s presentation of the Guillemets was both informative and French, which makes it extra arty, right? I can’t think of a single bad thing to say about Dasha Kelly, George Decelles, Megan Mercier, or any of the other performers. It all led to, as I said at the beginning, a surprisingly funny time.

The interrobang. Ain’t it a beaut?

The Encyclopedia Show is one of those shows everyone has to see. You never know what you’ll expect from it, but it’s always entertaining, no matter how boring the theme may sound. In fact, the harder the theme the better they seem to do. This is the one show in Chicago that’s willing to rise to the challenge, which says a lot since writers are typically a lazy bunch. Check it out!

Write Club Chapter 11

Feb 8th, 2011
by Mason.
1 comment

If you’re not familiar with Write Club, I suggest you check out my initial review in which I cover all the workings of the series. I am far too lazy to explain all the technical mumbo jumbo over again (not to say it’s technical, since it ain’t, just that I’m lazy).

Saturday 5th’s Write Club was held at the Prop Thtr as part of Rhino Fest, a festival for performance that can be summed up in three words: weird, hilarious, and, a word I use rarely, psychedelic. All the plays and performances, like Mascot for example, give a lot of entertainment in very little time. So check it out. Write Club fits perfectly into this world, giving you a wonderful set of words from writers who have less than seven minutes each.

This Write Club delivered some of the best entertainment you’re liable to find in any reading series. It also had a slightly more serious (emphasis on slightly) tone than Chapter 10, which was outright hilarious most of the time, though the readers still brought the comedy. Here’s a rundown of the readings…

Jonathan Messinger vs Ian Belknap | Attack vs Defend

“Fuck bees” was one of Jonathan Messinger’s many messages throughout his piece that wagged a finger at the  concept of defend. And even though Jonathan was able to mix in a powerfully political back end that appealed to every liberal heart in the audience (which was all of us, we’re writers and in Chicago, come on), he lost to Mr. Ian Belknap.

To quote my last post on Write Club, “I found myself wondering if Ian ever wins.” Well apparently he does. Time for me to eat that humble pie. Mmmm, tastes like shame. My shame. Which is kind of like chocolate…

Ian’s piece on defense, comedic when delivered in his uniquely dry wit, resonated when he applied defense to the relationship he has with his family. Who doesn’t want to defend their loved ones? Ian deservedly won. Even if he didn’t deserve it, he’d have won anyways based on his manipulation of the crowd, essentially telling the crowd that, were they to decide he lost, they’d be betraying a young lady with a possibly lethal heart condition.

Emily Rose vs. Megan Mercier | Buy vs Sell

Emily Rose started this bout out, detailing her near-hoarding tendencies towards buying anything and everything a person might ever need. Despite this seeming like a bad thing, we’ve all seen that TV show Hoarders, the soothing feelings these items bring her won the crowd over.

Megan Mercier regaled us with details of her longest relationship yet: the relationship she has with her Camry, which she’s been trying to sell, halfheartedly, for a year. If you own a pick-up truck, stay away from Megan, she seems to have a penchant for hitting them.

Emily Rose’s slightly unnerving buying tendencies ended up beating out Megan’s bad driving in the end. Regardless, both readings entertained.

Andrew Reilly vs Dina Walters | Mom vs Dad

Mom vs Dad, the argument of the ages. Actually, I think we can agree that most dads would concede to the moms, nobody likes an argument, but let’s not go into that.

Andrew started the match of by covering all his bases in his defense of Mom. And I mean, ALL his bases. He even went biblical on our asses. Yeah, Andrew, I guess the G-O-D was a pretty bad father.

While Andrew made as many arguments as he could, Dina covered only one subject, her own father. She brought things in close with her personal relationship with a man who would fart on her face when she was little. It was hard for those of us in the crowd to not reminisce about our own fathers and their flatulence as she told stories of a very funny and loving father. She cinched a win with crocodile tears at the end, giving Andrew no chance. Hell, she deserved it.

And thus, the fighting writing ended. All in all, a good show. Be sure to check out Saturday, February 12th’s show.

MASON JOHNSON HAS NERVES OF STEEL!

Feb 4th, 2011
by Mason.
1 comment

SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE NERVES OF STEEL is, without a doubt, a good reading series with good people involved.

Still, they talk a lot of crap for a group of yellow bellied wusses who are afraid of a little snow.

Really, though… good people.

Tuesday’s SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE NERVES OF STEEL, if you hadn’t guessed, was canceled. Sad, right? When I heard this I took a look out my window, scoffed, then launched my own reading to pick up the slack for the night.

Before I go on, I want to  make sure we know who is to blame for the lack of steely nerves and nervy steel at SO YOU THINK YOU HAVE NERVES OF STEEL. It is the fault of Jacob Knabb Harold Ray that Nerves of Steel has grown soft, and his fault alone. So when I say my grandmother is hardier than Nerves of Steel (which is true), what I’m really saying is that my grandmother could beat Harold Ray in a nude, greased-up, arm wrestling contest with both arms tied behind her back. One day I will show this Harold Ray what a real man is. (Me, I’m talking about me…)

Ladies and gentleman, without further adieu, I present to you, MASON JOHNSON HAS NERVES OF STEEL.

There we are. It’s Tuesday, February 1st when I find out a reading I was very much looking forward to had been canceled, all because of a few facebook statuses detailing something called a “snowpacolypse.”

Psh.

Within moments of finding out this reading where Mairead Case (who is very cool) was going to do something really awesome was canceled, I had already started work on the MASON JOHNSON HAS NERVES OF STEEL poster.

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Sunday Night Sex Show

Feb 3rd, 2011
by Mason.
1 comment

When I think Sunday Night Sex Show, I think education. So before I get into the thick of this review, here’s a quick list of what I learned at January 30th’s show:

1. It is bad to make fart jokes while on a date.

2. Women who have never squirted during climax could possibly, one day, maybe squirt outta no where. Which makes me a little paranoid… Not because of the mess, I can handle the mess, but it’s the surprise of it all. You go down on a dude, you know what to expect. I’m not comfortable with the idea that I could go down on a girl 99 times and then, magically, the 100th time, she squirts. That would be startling.

3. George Costanza is hot.

4. Donuts are alluring when you are high.

All very fine things to learn, if I do say so myself. That’s part of the charm of Sunday Night Sex Show, you never quite know what little tidbits you’re going to walk away with.

For those of you who don’t know, SNSS is a sex themed reading held at the Burlington at the end of every Month. When I say sex themed, I don’t mean perfectly written romance stories meant to make house wives and my grandmother quiver. I mean true stories about the tellers sex life. Usually awkward, always funny. SNSS just might be one of the most honest readings in the city. One of the more fun aspects of the show is the sex advice from Robyn Pennacchia and her co-host, who was Rachel Collins this month. It works pretty simply. The crowd asks questions like, “should a guy wax his junk?” and the wonderful hosts answer the question. Occasionally you learn something (about squirting, for example).

One highlight of the night was Lauryn Allison’s story about a woman who really fuckin’ wants some doughnuts (along with a certain baker’s nuts). Another highlight was Patrick Carberry’s story, detailing the realizations that he isn’t attracted to what, well, everyone else was attracted to growing up. Patrick even made one of the best points of the night. Yes, Patrick, a vagina is pretty much just a hole.

The show is free and it’s fun and, Christ… I can’t think of any reason for someone not to go. So just go check it out if you haven’t.

Knee-Jerk Offline Release Par-tay

Feb 1st, 2011
by Mason.
6 comments

If the readings at Friday night’s release party for the first ever physical version of Knee-Jerk Magazine were any indication, the anthology is definitely worth picking up. Lindsay Hunter’s story of a young girl getting her vagina kissed (yeah, I know, ew, right?), was as funny and, well, as different as anything else she’s ever written. Different in a good way. Not different like that kid in the slow classes from middle school. Michael Czyzniejewski opened his story by asking the audience whether they knew what a fluffer is (apparently my spell check doesn’t). Any story that makes this necessity has to be good, right?

So yeah! Check out Knee-Jerk, read a couple of their off-kilter reviews, consider buying the Offline issue.

Some quick thoughts before I end this post:

- Jim Belushi was there and he hasn’t looked this good since Red Heat.

The tag line on the poster reads: Moscow’s toughest detective. Chicago’s craziest cop. There’s only one thing worse than making them mad. Making them partners.

- Casey Bye did not talk to me enough.

- Steve talked to me too much.

- Melanie is both the most snarky and cynical editor, but also the nicest. How bout dat?

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